It demands too much energy and time, if it’s ever possible. Instead, choose what’s important and valuable to optimize, and be flexible and tolerant with the rest. If time is valuable, optimize for your time. If quality is valuable, optimize for quality. If fun or intensity is important, do the same. But doing all for all will inevitably require trade-offs, and you will disappoint or frustrate yourself. And this leads to the next principle.
No war has been ever won, because life only ends when one dies. While Napoleon was alive, he was constantly fighting and ready to fight. Every general, president, or warrior, only won battles. They only finished their wars once they were dead. In politics, business, and relationships, their legacies outlive us. If you fight all the battles, it’s not a matter if you win or lose, but how much time and energy you invested/wasted in it. When choosing your battles, you will realize you are not losing the ones you don’t fight. They are just not so important, and you can trade in. And when you fight, you will do so with your values and principles, honesty and truth. And this will be an investment of time and energy. Unfortunately this leads to the next principle.
We cannot change those who don’t want to change. And if we are to choose our battles, we only can accept and be supportive of other people’s own experiences. I can give you my opinion, I can give you an advice, but if you want or not to do things in a way, then please go ahead and see for yourself. It will definitely hurt me if the situation implies I’m trying to protect you or prevent you from a mistake I’m aware of, but go ahead and see for yourself. This is well aligned with the next principle.
When you are young, parents and community are responsible for molding the character of an individual, but once one can start making and taking their own decisions, only their own life experience and openness or closeness will change their beliefs and behaviors. It’s worthless to try to change someone, so choose your battles, otherwise go and see for yourself. When we need an individual to change, we can only accept them as they are, or walk away and accept us as we are. Thus, we must change.
Took me 37 years to understand, accept and welcome the value of routine. But even in my daily routine, things are always different. And they change over time. From my life experiences and relationships, I came to change over time, probably impacting much of the environment I lived in (and hopefully positively). Even if I was the same person doing the same things from 20 years ago, the only way for me to not change would be if my friends, family, economical situation, and society remained the same. And that’s not what living organisms are on the planet for. We, and everything around us, evolve continuously, even if sometimes it feels like receding. Life is not linear, and although many people see the glass half empty, the world has never been better for us humans. Evolution is not a straight ascending line.
Some accidents, mistakes or failures make life seem like it’s going in the wrong direction. But many if not most of these situations are opportunities to step back, take a deep breath, understand the situation, and make decisions to evolve. If you open your arms (physical), heart (emotional), and mind (intellectual), you have a powerful opportunity to learn and grow, thus evolving yourself. Never stop learning and growing.
To learn, one has to be curious, interested and committed. Genuinely positive values to have in one’s life. To teach, one has to be patient, caring and skilful. Also a great set of valuable traits. Why wouldn’t you want to make a lifestyle out of this? Acquire new skills, and practice them out, in an endless cycle. One day at a time.
There are sunny days and rainy days, warm seasons and cold seasons, long nights and short days, short nights and long days. Plants grow, and they die, and grow again blossoming strong and vibrant. Understanding these cycles, preparing for them, learning from them, and moving on from them will make you stronger and more stable. Remember that tomorrow is a new day to try again, or to continue progressing, but a new day either way.
If you don’t have the resources, gather them first. If you don’t have the know-how, learn first. If you need help, ask for it. If it can’t be done, don’t do it. The trash needs to be taken, but if you will not clean the trash bin and dispose the trash accordingly, leave it for later. If it needs to be done immediately, make time and put effort in doing so. If a bug needs to be fixed in your software, take the time to understand it, find the root cause, and mitigate it in a stable and scalable way. If you can’t do it immediately, don’t do or find support.